But it is a skill often overlooked by historians―and underestimated in formal corporate settings where leaders can consider emotions and the power of people's connections to one another unnecessary distractions.
Consider President Lincoln when he signed the agreement at Appomattox to end the catastrophic American Civil War without seeking retribution from the South "to bind up the nation's wounds." Or President Truman signing the Marshall Plan after the Second World War which would rebuild Europe's economic infrastructure including Germany.
So when Marwah, a student at Malik Academy, recently participated in Hope Collaborative's Relationship Skills module and explained the powerful effect forgiveness can have in mending relationships that are broken, we took notice.
Words, she explained, can have powerful effect.
They create the difference between constructive and destructive communication. You will see that she uses in this video a descriptive metaphor of living trees and dying trees in a forest.
"In the healthy relationship tree, we wrote words that are really nice and can affect people in a positive way: words like sorry, please, thank you..."
In contrast, the dead tree is full of "harsh words...when you say these things, your relationship with that person becomes unhealthy."
When we communicate, choosing words carefully can mean the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Using forgiveness to reset a relationship is a skill not easy to practice―but one that can have far-reaching and sometimes transformative consequences for people who value a relationship.
Marwah's expressive artwork captures the core idea of constructive language and behavior―actions and words that help a relationship grow and flourish―versus destructive communication that leads relationships to break down.
While positive communication isn't always easy, Marwah has excellent advice: "You shouldn't be so hard on the other person, because they're human after all too."